.religion in death.

i wonder what it feels like

to be dead...

if it's as free and peaceful

as they say,

if no more tears are shed

in sadness,

if loved ones can be watched

and cared for,

if happiness is inherent

every day,

if time is no longer significant

and none lost,

if negative feelings are only

memories,

if everything is finally good.

i hope to have many days left, of happiness and sadness, love and loss, pleasure and tragedy, to learn the lessons meant for me in this life.

but i await the day i can finally sleep peacefully, laugh fully, and know surely.

if i'm lucky enough, i will find moments in my mortal life where i can relish in these awesome feelings.

if not, (and even if i do,) i pray for my day of judgement to have a happy ending

so i can finally exist in peace.

epiphonies

i'm not who i used to be, 

and it's all because of you.

the love i hold for you

has proved it's not going anywhere.

i tried to leave it behind,

i suppressed it and convinced myself

that none of it was real,

and did a pretty good job,

for a while.

but eventually, reality surfaced.

i went through

jealousy,

hate,

rage,

loss and sadness.

but the worst was thinking you'd moved on,

and having no one to blame but myself.

i couldn't blame you...

you waited your turn,

it just came too late.

now it's my turn to wait.

i'm done with the jealousy,

because we're not going anywhere.

i'm done with the hate,

because anyone would have done the same.

i'm yours, babe,

and i'm done with knowing anything but that.

i love you, with all my heart.

always have.

always will.

when you feel love, hold on to it. do everything you can to keep it, even if you've lost it.

sometimes, second (and more) chances don't come so easily, but that shouldn't stop you from attempting to get them anyway.