future love is exciting.
current love is passionate.
past love is haunting.
missed love is regretful.
love is great.. when you're in it, and the other returns it; when the good parts outweigh the bad. but it's really just a taunting ass when you have none.
the best and the worst of the human condition can be shown through love, especially of what i specifically speak between two people "in love;" or even one person enamored, and one person clueless or, worse, uninterested.
when you love someone, you can't help it... the intensity can be so surreal. i mean, a simple look that you're not used to getting can run someone's imagination, when in reality the looker meant nothing more than a simple, quiet hello. and the way it lasts can truly kill... with no control over where your brain goes, love may be long gone and thoughts of ifs, ands, memories, maybes, and withdrawal attack your heart through your millions of synapses.
past love can be a great way to learn all kinds of valuable things about yourself, your expectations, and your wants and needs in a partner. it can also be such a haunting set of memories, wishes and current realities. time may pass by, but hauntings know no time... they stay as long as the void is present in the heart.
perhaps the worst part of love is the lack of control we possess over it. even if we know what is right and wrong in reality, and we try to control where we go in our love life, our heart isn't obedient... it's going to feel however it feels regardless of how we want it to feel. this can leave us feeling stuck in time, because, really, a part of us is. with this lack of control over our heart, we can't pull ourselves up to reality no matter how we try. we just have to keep looking for situations to pull us back to where we want to be.
even then, where a person wants to be may change frequently. reality is, in fact, an ever changing concept, molded by numerous factors in a person's life. reality is another aspect of a person's life that they cannot control. they may only speculate and theorize at reality, but it is too liquid of a concept to hammer into stone. with that in mind, how would we ever settle on what we want when our reality changes? because our heart changes at a much slower rate than our brain and reality; therefore, love fades and grows more slowly than any of use realize.
i was recently told (again) "if you want to make God laugh, make plans." the more i live, the more i see the truth in this, whether viewing God as the planner, or science as the ruling theories.
so instead of planning,
just live.
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